120905

im going a tough time now.im having arguments with my beloved boyfriend. every single day. we planned to get married end of this year. and we havent spend much time together lately. i miss him. i do. oh-so-very-much! im just sooo stressed up that im not allowed to see him til our wedding day. it sucks. im soooo depressed. havent gone out of my room in two freaking days. well, i did go out to eat. but other than for buka puasa or sahur, i didnt step out of my room. just lying on my bed and crying. i just wish everything goes away, im problem-free. yeah, as if that day's gonna come soon. haih. im just tired of all of these things. ive been locked up for like 10 months. i really dont know how ive survived. i know it was my fault. but really, for ten months, no friends at all? i miss my best friend, laili. i could tell her anything and everything. oh, no! we dont agree in everything. but she has always been there for me. and im glad i have her as my best friend. i love you,lye. i guess i havent gone insane because i want to get married. ive waited for 10 months, if i have to wait a month or two to get married, i dont mind.


yeah. i meant what i said, hadi. i dont mind. hadi and i, we dont see eye-to-eye in everything. in fact, we have so little thing in common. i guess this is what people called opposite attraction. ;) i met hadi when i was studying at Binary University College. it was 2005. he was the guy who was the last person to come to class. and he was the first person to go. i hated him. oh,yes i did. we had every class together. and a friend of mine had a crush on him. she and i had no class together, so she asked me to watch him. somehow we got his number for her. but hadi and i werent friends. love is such a weird thing, coz in some way, somehow, while waiting and watching him coming to class, i just couldnt look away. oh, how much i hated the way he walked. he was all cocky and macho. *rolling my eyes*

i couldnt help but smile now, thinking how fast time flies.

i kept his number for two weeks before i texted him. i couldnt remember who texted who first. but i think it was me, asking him why he didnt come to class when he said he would. he got my number from leela, and leela got his number from me. so, THANKS LEELA! that nite, he texted me. he asked me to tutor him accounting. and his mother was a bank manager or something. his mother studied ACCA. but he asked me,anyway. i remembered our first lunch together after the tutoring, he wanted the lunch to be just the two of us, but well, i invited two of my friends. tina and fiona. i just cant be alone with him at that time. since that day, we got closer and closer. of course i told my best friend about him. and one day when he was driving me home, laili called. laili asked me whether we were together, coz we've been hanging out with each other alot. so i asked him. and he smiled and scratched his head. i think i was so confident that he liked me. when he dropped me off, he asked me to be his girlfriend. it was 120905. the next day, we had our first kiss before accounting class. it was the most perfect kiss ever. it was gentle, sweet, soft and yet tender.

3 years later, i still could feel it. we had the most awful ups and downs. and we've survived it. there are so many people who are against our marriage. but i just dont care. although we fight like cats and dogs, but we are crazy for each other. we've turned 3 on 120908. i just cant let him go. he completes me. whoever know what we've been through for the past 3 years and 1 week, they would understand. some people said we're blessing in disguise. even after everything, after all the accusations people threw at us, after every difficult obstacles we had to go through, we've survived. 3 years and still counting, Insyaallah.

always and forever,
-s.